I
tore the meniscus in my left knee playing tennis. I felt the tear as
it occurred. Arthroscopic surgery easily fixed the problem but
recovery forced me to examine my views on the use of time.
Once
home and with the worst of the pain dissipating, I immediately became
an impatient patient. How long, I whined, would I have to wait before
I could resume my life?
When
I opened my eyes each morning, I asked: “Is today the day I return
to normal?” Then I tried to walk. My stiffened knee reminded me I
must wait a little longer!
In
this vulnerable condition, I started thinking about all the other
periods in my life where I felt suspended between the “before”
and the “yet to come.” Limbo periods seem to be a regular feature
of my life. In high school, I waited impatiently until I could leave
home and start college. I waited through my first pregnancy by
marking off each long day. I waited in the hospital to see if my
daughter would survive cardiac arrest. The list goes on.
When
I tally up the time, I realize how much of my life I’ve spent in
one spot, idling my engine, waiting for the next stage or the next
event. Waitingitis
reminds me of driving a car with the emergency brake on—very
hard to gain momentum and disastrous on the running parts of the
vehicle.
In my medically imposed
leisure, I’ve had time to identify five symptoms of this malady
that could easily be confused with excusitis
or blamingitis.
Although waitingitis
isn’t life-threatening, like obesity, it can lead to other
conditions that are, such as heart disease, cancer, stroke and even
dementia. Immunized with information, maybe I can avoid the damage of
waitingitis
by recognizing its symptoms:
1.
Downward Spiral:
A sense of decay and deterioration is present. If depression doesn’t
cause passivity, it certainly takes over if I feel helpless long
enough.
2.
Excuses:
Life is filled with remarkably plausible excuses that I try to
convince myself, and others, to believe.
3.
Powerlessness: The
cause of my waiting always seems beyond my control. And since I have
no control over what is going to happen next, my only alternative is
to wait.
4.
Myths: If I repeatedly
tell stories about how real the obstacles are, I convince not only
myself but others as well.
5.
Self-Pity: It is
easier to talk myself into accepting my situation rather than to seek
the unique opportunities in each particular circumstance.
Recognizing
the dark role of waitingitis
and noticing when I am in that state freed me to handle my recovery
more positively. While I couldn’t do everything, I could still do
floor exercises in the morning with my good leg and upper body. As
part of the healing process I noticed both improvements and setbacks.
By keeping track of progress in my diary, I took charge of my
outlook.
Going further, in a real
turnaround, I began to realize the huge opportunity I had to use this
time constructively. I became rested, I read broadly, and I had time
to reflect and replenish my emotional bank. Best of all, I had a
ready-made excuse to enjoy the upcoming holidays without all the fuss
and work!
Shortly before the knee
surgery, I finished teaching a workshop—From
Fat to Fit—offered
at the local hospital. Like me, they’ve finally realized the
destructive power of delaying their intent to get fit. They are
having fun getting fit, they are designing their own individual
programs, and they are participating together—surrounded
by a support team of their own creation.
We don’t have to wait for the
perfect time to begin adopting healthful habits. Now is not only the
best time to begin but it is the only time we have. The rest is
obstacle illusions.
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