Carole Carson

What Does It Take to Become Our Best Self

It's one thing to want to be physically fit, be able to wear your clothes comfortably, and read a number on the bathroom scale you love—in effect, to sculpt your body into the shape and size you want.

Certainly the “end” is unambiguous and delightful to envision—we can picture how we look in our mind’s eye. It is the “means” that trips us up. How do we become our personal best at any age?

It’s tempting to begin by adopting the latest fad diet or weight loss product to only to be disappointed when willpower fades or the product is a bust. I took that path for 40 years.

Although I am admittedly a slow learner, I eventually succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. What did I do differently?

I changed my thinking. As a result of thinking differently, my behavior was permanently altered.

I mustered every ounce of emotional will available to me. In a quiet moment of reflection, I connected with the “me” that functions as my inner witness. She was excited to begin. Her eager response: "Yes! Let's do it. I’ve been waiting. Now’s the time.”

I had two nonnegotiable rules: Unless I was sick or injured, each day I would exercise one hour and limit my caloric intake to 1,500-1,800 calories. I adopted a “no matter what” attitude that applied from this moment forward.

To keep that emotional will in place, I wrote down what I wanted to achieve and made daily food journaling part of the accountability process. I carefully wrote down and acknowledged my progress and setbacks.

Most importantly, I went public with my commitment and sought support from family, friends and experts, as needed.

I worked with a physical therapist to rehabilitate a torn hamstring, I took some instruction from a personal trainer and I attended tennis clinics. I also checked in with my doctor frequently.

Even so, my path wasn’t smooth. Breakdowns occurred. For every 10 steps forward, I took 1 backward. Still, I learned to be compassionate when I lost ground. Instead of berating myself, I reassured myself. I reminded myself that I was human and that to be human is to be imperfect. Then I focused on the lessons I could learn from the setbacks I endured and recommitted myself to my goals.

I also learned how important it was to support others in reaching their fitness goals hence my interest in writing this note to you—a friend I have yet to meet. When I lend a hand to a traveler on the fitness path, I am repaid with a deposit in my own emotional willpower bank. “To give is to receive” takes on new meaning.

When we are ready to reach for our dream, first we must summon the emotional will and change how we think. Our goals must have a “no matter what” quality. We must articulate our dream by writing down our goals. Finally, we must give and receive help so that together we can experience the joy of becoming our personal best.

What about you? Does this resonate with you?

Shape Up or Pay Up!

We all know that medical costs are rising at an alarming rate. Many factors are causing this spike, but among the most identifiable is the increase in obesity. Two-thirds of us are overweight, and given the trend, this number is expected to reach 75 percent in the next few years.

As researchers have repeatedly documented, being overweight leads to a host of medical problems: gallbladder disease, stroke, coronary diseases, certain cancers, diabetes and others too numerous to list. And these medical conditions lead to a host of medical expenses.

Who will foot the bill?

Certainly families are aware of the worrisome increase in costs when they write checks for their medical expenses. Their awareness, however, is matched by the concern of their employers. While the cost of employee healthcare premiums rises, the pressure to provide coverage to the uninsured also rises—a double whammy.

So what’s an employer to do? Some benefit administrators are employing the “stick” motivational technique by deducting money from the paychecks of employees who don’t meet certain health requirements. According to an article in the Los Angeles Times, one Indiana-based company will deduct $30 every two weeks from the paychecks off those who fail to meet weight, cholesterol and blood pressure guidelines.

Other companies are giving “carrots.” That is, the employer reduce the amount of the insurance deductible as an incentive to get and stay trim. Instead of paying the first $5,000 in medical expenses each year, for example, the employee who gets and stays trim may have the deductible reduced to $2,500.

The courts will ultimately decide whether such actions violate employment laws, including the Americans with Disabilities Act. But one thing is certain. For the first time, Americans recognize the need to address the issue of obesity. According to a Harris Poll, 83 percent of Americans say obesity is “very harmful,” compared to 79 percent who consider smoking “very harmful” (the second leading contender). Obesity is now the number one health issue.

What can you and I do? As employees or retirees—whatever our station in life—we must set an example.

Others will follow our lead if we step up and challenge ourselves to lose weight and get fit. To misquote President Roosevelt, we have nothing to lose but pounds themselves.

And what we have to gain is invaluable. We can regain the self-respect and financial viability that comes from living a disciplined, purposeful life. Is that too much to ask of ourselves? And can we afford to do anything less?

Ten Ways to Outsmart Food Cravings

Losing weight and keeping it off require effective management of food cravings that can easily undermine plans to eat healthfully. Use these 10 tips to manage yourself through the crazy maze of cravings:

1. Eat at regular intervals. To avoid becoming overly hungry, don’t go more than five hours without eating.

2. Include protein in each meal to control appetite. Skinless poultry, fish, eggs and low-calorie dairy products are good sources.

3. Stay hydrated with water, since thirst can mask as hunger. Avoid sugared, artificially sweetened and stimulant drinks that trigger cravings.

4. Distract yourself if the impulse to eat is triggered by emotions, especially if you are SAD: sad, angry or depressed. Instead of giving in to the craving, go for a walk. Besides getting you out of the kitchen, the exercise will burn calories.

5. Chew sugarless gum. Chewing satisfies mouth hunger without adding calories.

6. Brush and floss your teeth. Changing the taste in your mouth shifts your perspective, and the craving may simply disappear.

7. Replace refined foods (for example, white flour and sugar) that trigger cravings with whole grains. Whole grains produce a sense of satiety for a longer than refined foods do, and unlike refined foods, whole grains do not trigger cravings.

8. Just say no and then wait. Most cravings begin, crest and recede in minutes. While you’re waiting, review what you have eaten during the day and reassure yourself that your body is well nourished. Willpower is a muscle that strengthens with exercise.

9. Call for support. If you are in danger of polishing off a container of peanut butter ice cream, call your best friend and talk your way through the crisis.

10. Get outside and into sunlight daily, exercise regularly and get a good night’s rest. Sunlight and exercise lift your mood, and rest restores perspective.

Armed with these tips, you will have the tools to respond when cravings surprise you. Even so, to paraphrase President Lincoln, you may be able to fend off all of your cravings some of the time and fend off some cravings all of the time, but you probably won’t be able to fend off all of your cravings all of the time. If you do slip up now and then, forgive yourself and move on. Forget the past and move toward the future. You’ll no doubt have many more opportunities to practice these tips.

Photo courtesy of Julia Dumnova

 

To Live Long, Keep Moving!

A study of 9,000 men and women in Australia found that being a little overweight didn’t impact mortality. The groups that were most likely to die were persons who were underweight or obese. However, the amount of exercise a person engaged in, rather than what the scale read, was the most critical factor in determining longevity.

Women who had a sedentary lifestyle had twice the mortality risk of others in the study; for men, it was 28 percent higher. In light of this research and his own conclusions as a physician, Dr. Andrew Weil encourages us not to stress if we can’t reach the ideal weight in the actuarial tables, but instead to focus on maintaining optimum health by eating right and being physically active. This is the focus of our Fat 2 Fit community, and this study supports our strategy.

Photo courtesy of Ariel da Silva Parreira

Relighting the Fire

Many of us started the New Year fully committed to making long overdue lifestyle changes. We assured ourselves that we'd finally lose those surplus pounds, exercise more regularly and get more rest. The demands of daily life, however, may have already worn our resolve thin after just a few months. How then shall we find the will to continue?

Albert Schweitzer provided insight when he said: "In everyone' s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

When you get discouraged, your best strategy for rekindling your inner spirit is to find and read the stories and comments of others who are committed to fitness. You can read about others’ successful efforts here. You can also join the AARP Fat 2 Fit online community and receive daily encouragement and fitness tips.

 

Photo courtesy of Ariel da Silva Parreira

Exercise Is Its Own Reward

After finishing my workout at a neighborhood gym, I frequently treated myself to iced tea at a nearby coffee shop. A couple of my classmates almost always beat me there, and by the time I arrived they would be settled in with their pastries and soft drinks.

When I stopped by their table to chat one day, they told me that this was their reward for an hour of exercise. I've made this mistake as well. That is, I've allowed myself some extra treats because, as I tell myself in the moment, I exercised especially hard earlier in the day.

Exercise is wonderful for our bodies in many ways. But the truth is that even an hour of doubles' tennis doesn't burn that many calories, and if I indulge in treats, I'll sabotage my weight loss efforts.

Although it isn’t an exact science, the Mayo Clinic has fairly good estimates, and you may be surprised at how much exercise it takes to burn off even one donut. For example, given my weight and walking speed, I’d need to walk at least an hour to burn off a plain donut. A sugared-donut would be even more!

I'm sharing this fitness tip so you won't make this common mistake.

Photo courtesy of Rodrigo Roveri

Is Sugar Evil? Is Sugar Your Recreational Drug of Choice?

Demonizing particular foods and specific categories of foods, such as carbs or fats, is a peculiarly American trait. If you are over 30 years old, you watched margarine dethrone butter only to be dethroned when butter was restored to its former glory. You watched eggs disappear from refrigerators only to be welcomed back as an excellent source of protein. Remember when fat-free diets were promoted? A few years later when the Mediterranean diet was introduced, we learned that all fats were not evil. Some, in fact, were good for us.

Is sugar the latest food to be demonized? Is it addictive? Do you crave a sugar fix?

As a nation, two facts are undisputed. We are getting heavier, and we are consuming more sugar—in fact, 30 percent more than in 1970. The average American consumes 350 calories a day in the form of sugar, mostly in sugared beverages. According to researchers, even drinking one 12-ounce can of regular soda boosts the risk factors for heart disease by 25 percent.

If you’re going to locate all of the sugar you are consuming, you will need to become a very clever food detective. Sugar is hidden in processed foods, such as breakfast cereals, bread and spaghetti sauce. And it regularly is masked under different names, for example, sugar, brown sugar, fructose, high-fructose corn syrup, honey, malted corn syrup, barley syrup and molasses. And although federal regulations require listing the main ingredient on products first, you won’t necessarily find sugar listed even when it is the key item. Listing the different kinds of sugars as separate ingredients effectively circumvents this requirement.

Even when we know we are consuming sugar, we have a hard time resisting. In The End of Overeating, author David Kessler asserts that foods that combine fat, salt and sugar (and are, incidentally, accessible on a 24/7 basis) alter brain chemistry and trigger an impulse to eat more.

The increase in sugar consumption and sugar’s possible link to the epidemic of obesity have triggered questions about the relative virtues (or vices) of corn syrup versus natural honey versus white sugar. Because results are inconclusive and in some cases conflicting, some of us have simply tuned out the argument and are switching to sugar substitutes. If life gives us lemons, we say, we can still make sugar-free lemonade.

To be fair, sugar substitutes are not without their critics, but here are the current options if you are determined to avoid the evils of sugar:

• Stevia is made from a plant leaf and is considered generally safe. Product names are Truvia, PureVia and SweetLeaf.

• Sucralose is made by chemically altering sugar molecules. It is considered the safest sugar substitute by the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Product name is Splenda.

• Aspartame is used in desserts, yogurts and beverages. Recent research on rats raises questions about safety. Product names are NutraSweet and Equal.

• Saccharin was one of the first sugar substitutes. Long-term studies indicate it is safe to use. Product names are Sweet’N Low and Necta Sweet.

• Acesulfame-K is a calorie-free artificial sweetener. Some recent studies on rats suggest this product is not safe. In some people, gas and bloating have been reported. Product name is Sunett.

We can be assured that if we remove sugar entirely from our diet, we won’t be missing any essential nutrient. Except for blackstrap molasses, which contains a modest amount of calcium, iron and other nutrients, sugar lacks significant nutritional value. For this reason, calories consumed as sugar, while boosting our energy, are frequently referred to as empty calories.

At the same time, humankind is not likely to live by whole wheat unsweetened bread alone. An occasional sweet treat brightens our day. For some of us, though, occasional is a word that does not appear in our sugar vocabulary. Sugar is to us what one drink is to an alcoholic. We can’t stop with one cookie or one scoop of ice cream. Consequently, we find it easier to abstain entirely than to eat sugar in moderation.

Whatever your strategy, be prepared to pay more for sugared treats. Several giant food firms are predicting a shortage that may drive prices up. Besides paying more, you may have to adjust your perspective on sugar as new research challenges our current thinking. If history is our guide, we can be certain of only one truth: sugar fashions, just like clothing fashions, are subject to change. Until we learn otherwise, however, minimizing the sugar in our diet is highly advisable.

Three Tips for Eating Right: Feed Your Nose and Shrink Your Stomach

Too often, the problem with eating right is that it is not as satisfying as eating wrong. Our food preferences often stem from our training from birth to enjoy overly salty, sweet and fatty foods. For example, who doesn’t love a chocolate chip cookie? But who can stop with just one? The combination of the three flavors (salt, sugar and fat) is hyperpalatable, according to Dr. David Kessler, author of The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite.

When we change to a more healthful diet with less salt, sugar and fat, we initially don’t enjoy our food as much. Gratification is delayed until we see a slimmer self in the mirror or start to feel more energetic.

Besides the preference for this unhealthy trio of tastes, another piece of the puzzle involves how eating triggers specific mechanics that translate into feelings of satisfaction, hunger and pleasure. Researchers have concluded that satisfaction is initially registered in the brain rather than the stomach. Although the process seems counterintuitive, the way to trigger a sensation of satisfaction is through the nose.

In one research study of 1,436 subjects, noncaloric crystals were added to food to stimulate satisfaction. The results were astounding: the average weight loss was 30 pounds.

Olfactory nerves are directly linked to the emotional center in our brain, so an appetizing smell activates a specific part of our brain. Brain scans can measure and monitor the degree of activation. Messages sent to various parts of the body from the activation tell us whether we are satisfied or want to eat more.

The research has major implications for food manufacturers, who are keenly aware of the impact of aroma. The development of aromas and additives in foods is an $18.6 billion industry. Clearly, food manufacturers understand the link between smell and satisfaction.

Most importantly for us, however, this scientific research suggests that aromas can be used to fight obesity. Here are three tips in using aromas to trigger satisfaction and become more FIT: 

F: Focus on adding aromatic spices to your dishes as you prepare them. A little basil in a soup or fresh mint on a piece of melon adds fabulous flavor. A couple of fresh herbs and spices growing on the window ledge of your kitchen can make the difference between a drab meal and a meal that your family will ask you to prepare again.

I: Ingest your food first through your nose. Talented wine tasters perform their best work with their noses. If you sniff your plate and don’t say wow, then chances are good that you won’t leave the table satisfied. And remember to make the plate aesthetically appealing as well.

T: Take the time to really appreciate food. Food is culture; food is life. Too often in our day-to-day lives, we eat mechanically—for example, when distracted by television. Cultures that enjoy a healthy relationship with food emphasize the daily pleasure in and enjoyment of food. Find a middle ground.

In some non-Western cultures, food (especially spices and herbs) is considered medicine and may be the sole source of healthcare. If food is medicine and obesity is the illness, then we need to replace the unhealthy trio—sugar, salt and unhealthy fats—with herbs and spices.

Make the time to give your body the nutrition it needs and the satisfaction it craves. When you do, you’ll find that your pleasure in food—rather than your iron discipline—will eventually shrink your waistline.

Listening for a Message from the Heart

Anybody who’s tried dieting knows the best-laid plan disintegrates over time, if not immediately. Have you ever started your day committed to daily exercise and careful eating? That night, sitting in front of the television, guiltily eating a bowl of ice cream, you remember you didn’t exercise as promised.

“Oh well,” you say to yourself. “Tomorrow’s another day.” But the next day you follow the same routine.

To understand how our brains are wired to resist change, even when change is in our best interests, we turn to neuroscience. Based on current research, four common views about changing behavior don’t hold up.

The first view——that crisis is a powerful impetus for change——is disproved by research on heart patients.

According to Dr. Edward Miller, dean of the Medical School of the Johns Hopkins University hospital, few people make lifestyle changes even when faced with a life-threatening condition. “If you look at the people after coronary-artery bypass grafting two years later, 90 percent of them have not changed their lifestyle,” Miller says. “Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can’t.”

The second view——that information triggers different behavior——is dispelled by looking around. Collectively, we grow heavier and more inactive in the midst of information overload.

Our minds are capable of screening out what we don’t want to know. The mechanism of denial is so powerful that it can effectively block out both fear and lifesaving information.

The third idea——that we can’t change by the time we reach maturity because our brains are hardwired by habits——is also debunked.

Studies on brains indicate that, although the physical structure of the brain is changed by habitual behavior, brains can be rejuvenated through learning. To be able to change, though, we must exercise the “learning muscle.”

I found the fourth idea most intriguing. Conventional wisdom says small, gradual changes are easier to sustain than radical changes. Turns out the opposite is true. Because it quickly yields results, a dramatic change has a better chance of success.

In light of these findings, I discovered that I accidentally made a few right decisions.

First, I made changes because I regretted that my failure to care for my body reflected in surplus pounds and sedentary habits. I didn’t experience a medical emergency, nor did I suddenly become informed. Rather, I reacted to a positive image of myself that I moved toward.

Secondly, I was already in a learning mode. I was enrolled in a tennis clinic. At home, I was starting a second career in writing. I was also struggling to master new technologies. Over time, these new activities became habits.

Most critically, I changed everything at once. I got on the scale and it broke. The next moment, I became a fitness evangelist—first for myself and then for others.

Results came quickly, and I did not want to lose momentum. What conventional wisdom said was risky instead improved my chance of success.

Today I feel better. Instead of being heavy-hearted about my obesity and lack of fitness, I am lighthearted and optimistic.

Fortunately, the static, denial and clutter of my mind’s wrongheaded thinking didn’t keep the message of my heart from being heard.

Want to Be Happy? Or Happier? Take Five!

Marshall and Kelly Goldsmith, management consultants, completed a survey of 3,000 people to obtain insight into what makes people happy and gives meaning to their lives both at home and at work.

Those surveyed included well-educated managers, entrepreneurs and professionals, almost equally divided between men and women.

Five recommendations emerged from the study:

1. Watch less television. Television viewing may entertain,

but it doesn’t increase satisfaction or meaning.

2. Don’t waste time surfing the Web. Spending time on the

Internet robs individuals of happiness and purpose.

3. Do as few chores as you can (however you define chores).

4. Spend time exercising and socialize with people you

love.

5. Keep yourself challenged.

The first three statements are negatively proscriptive; that is, they tell us what not to do. Don’t waste time watching television, surfing the Web or performing routine chores. The last two suggestions are positively proscriptive; that is, they tell us how to spend our time. Exercise and socialize with those we love and work on challenging tasks.

The survey results may not surprise you, although you might have noticed, as I did, that there is no recommendation for spending time on spiritual growth, meditation or reflection. Setting the spiritual dimension aside, the results affirm what we know instinctively—that our days are numbered and that we need to allocate our day-to-day moments in meaningful ways.

Marshall Goldsmith is an executive coach and the author of Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back If You Lose It. Kelly Goldsmith is an assistant professor of marketing at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management.