Carole Carson

Are Your Friends Helping You Stay Fit?

If you’ve read many of my articles, you’ve no doubt noticed that I repeat myself on the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded fitness friends and family. I have done so out of a conviction based on my own experience that our success is mightily dependent on the team we assemble around us.

Let me explain. I tried and failed to get fit and lose weight for 40 years. I succeeded only when I went public and surrounded myself with support. Armed with this insight, I support weight-loss challenges across the nation: these programs encourage individuals to work together as communities to get fit. I also serve as the coach for the AARP Fat 2 Fit online community.

This concept—that we need each other to succeed--is being confirmed by results of the Framingham Heart Study, a longitudinal study beginning in 1948 of more than 15,000 Framingham residents and their descendants. The purpose of the study is to analyze behavior and health habits to understand their impact on heart disease.

The most recent insights were published in an article in the New York Times titled, “Are Your Friends Making You Fat?” The researchers confirmed that the people who stayed fittest were part of a group whose members stayed fit. Although the mechanism isn’t entirely understood, researchers suspect that we pick up social cues from each other and reinforce positive behaviors.

So here’s my question to you: how can you increase the support you have around you in your day-to-day world? Knowing how critical support can be to your success, how can you strengthen this element in your fitness program?

Take a Vacation and Visit Yourself

The high cost of travel is forcing many families to reconsider their plans for the traditional away-from-home vacation. Depending on the size of the vehicle, each stop at a gas station during a car trip can easily cost $60 to $100. And purchasing meals—plus snacks—in restaurants isn’t cheap either.

Air travel is also more expensive. At midyear, the six largest airlines had increased fares 15 times in the first half of 2008, compared with 17 fare increases in all of 2007. Incidental surcharges for fuel and luggage can easily add a few hundred dollars to the airfare.

The rising cost of food is also placing a strain on family budgets, while daily news of massive layoffs in various hard-hit industries throughout the country can cause even the most carefree vacationers to become a tad anxious.

Mounting credit-card debt ($8,000 average per family) is another factor that families consider when deciding whether to splurge on their vacation. In the face of these challenges, what’s a person to do?

Some families and individuals are opting for staycations. Instead of traveling during their time off from work, staycationers plan to save money while they enjoy the comfort and amenities of their own home. But the savings and creature comforts aren’t the only benefits. Staycationers also reap health benefits.

I wrote about five significant benefits in an article titled “Want to Make Lemonade from Lemons? Become a Staycationer” that was posted August 6, 2008, on Gabby Reece’s Web site. Go here for the full article.)

Staycations offer other advantages as well. Without the hassle of travel, a staycation provides opportunities to read, rest and restore our perspective. We can spend leisurely hours with family members or engage in a satisfying hobby. We can become tourists and explore our own area. Best of all, we don't have to unpack the five pounds of extra baggage around our waistline when we prepare to go back to work or school.

This summer, you’ll find me vacationing in the backyard, sipping lemonade and reading a good book, or maybe on the tennis court at a nearby park. What about you?

"Once in a while you have to take a vacation and visit yourself."             Audrey Giorgi

How to Age Disgracefully

The phone rang shortly after 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning, and the news was brief. Kay Cossette, a 94-year-old friend, had died in her sleep during the night.

Kay had suffered a stroke four years earlier, so the news was not unexpected. Yet I was surprisingly unsettled by the finality of her death. I spent the next few hours recalling hilarious times we had spent together and the enormous impact Kay had on my life.

I met Kay shortly after I moved to Alameda, California in the early ‘80s. She and I attended Twin Towers United Methodist Church, and when the pastor called for volunteers to host Sunday’s coffee hour, Kay and I responded. We teamed up for what would be the first of many delightful activities.

At the time, Kay was in her late seventies and was 30 or more years my senior. But in terms of outlook, Kay was easily 30 years my junior. Her first unsolicited observation about my life was that it was all work and no play. As a single parent of two, I had neglected my own needs and forgotten how to play.

When Kay learned that my closest relatives were 2,000 miles away, she adopted me. Making me over became her personal rehab project. Kay invited me to join a monthly bridge group, attend Oakland A’s baseball games (where, to our delight, we were regularly carded when we bought hot dogs and beers), experiment with golf and play tennis, my current passion. When I was bedridden following surgery, Kay brought me chicken soup. To while away the hours during my recovery, she climbed onto my bed, where we played her favorite card games, cribbage and Skip-bo.

I thanked Kay for bringing me back to life by taking her to dinner at the fanciest restaurant I could find—one in Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco overlooking the Bay on her 75^th birthday. Her birthday present was a 4-foot white stuffed gorilla that I crammed into an oversized black garbage bag topped off with a big yellow bow.

Surrounded by gleaming chandeliers, white linen, muted music, an impressive assortment of wine glasses and silverware and an attentive waiter, Kay opened her present. Kay immediately named the gorilla Alice, tied the yellow bow around Alice’s neck and seated her at our table. When the waiter took our order, Kay insisted Alice order first.

We shared conversation, food and drink with Alice that night, much to the amusement of neighboring patrons and the staff. We had too much fun with Alice to care about the odd looks we received. From that point on, Alice occupied a prominent seat in the middle of the sofa in Kay’s living room.

Until her stroke at age 90, Kay swam for an hour each day in her backyard pool, whatever the weather. She also captained her bowling team and loved to hike. Kay was active in community affairs and constantly took people, like me, under her wing. I’m certain that many of her adoptees attended her memorial service because they loved her as I did. But no matter how many people Kay befriended, she made each of us feel special.

I’m grateful for teachers, mentors and role models like Kay who make a powerful difference in the lives of everyone they meet. Kay helped me recover my sense of play, and her unconventional style confirmed my suspicion that we can be dynamic, involved, engaged and constructively influential, whatever our age. Our bodies may get older, but we can stay forever young at heart.

I miss Kay’s raucous laughter and treasure the memories of times we spent together. Most of all, though, I feel honored by Kay’s presence in my life. Kay taught me a great deal and presciently prepared me for a role I had no idea I would play in the future—fitness advocate. Standing on her shoulders, I’ll seek to repay Kay by making a difference in the lives of those around me. And like Kay, I intend to age disgracefully by having one heck of a good time.

"Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself."              Chinese Proverb