Carole Carson

What Does It Take to Become Our Best Self?

It's one thing to want to be physically fit, be able to wear your clothes comfortably, and read a number on the bathroom scale you love—in effect, to sculpt your body into the shape and size you want.

Certainly the “end” is unambiguous and delightful to envision—we can picture how we look in our mind’s eye. It is the “means” that trips us up. How do we become our personal best at any age?

It’s tempting to begin by adopting the latest fad diet or weight loss product to only to be disappointed when willpower fades or the product is a bust. I took that path for 40 years.

Although I am admittedly a slow learner, I eventually succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. What did I do differently?

I changed my thinking. As a result of thinking differently, my behavior was permanently altered.

I mustered every ounce of emotional will available to me. In a quiet moment of reflection, I connected with the “me” that functions as my inner witness. She was excited to begin. Her eager response: "Yes! Let's do it. I’ve been waiting. Now’s the time.”

I had two nonnegotiable rules: Unless I was sick or injured, each day I would exercise one hour and limit my caloric intake to 1,500-1,800 calories. I adopted a “no matter what” attitude that applied from this moment forward.

To keep that emotional will in place, I wrote down what I wanted to achieve and made daily food journaling part of the accountability process. I carefully wrote down and acknowledged my progress and setbacks.

Most importantly, I went public with my commitment and sought support from family, friends and experts, as needed.

I worked with a physical therapist to rehabilitate a torn hamstring, I took some instruction from a personal trainer and I attended tennis clinics. I also checked in with my doctor frequently.

Even so, my path wasn’t smooth. Breakdowns occurred. For every 10 steps forward, I took 1 backward. Still, I learned to be compassionate when I lost ground. Instead of berating myself, I reassured myself. I reminded myself that I was human and that to be human is to be imperfect. Then I focused on the lessons I could learn from the setbacks I endured and recommitted myself to my goals.

I also learned how important it was to support others in reaching their fitness goals hence my interest in writing this note to you—a friend I have yet to meet. When I lend a hand to a traveler on the fitness path, I am repaid with a deposit in my own emotional willpower bank. “To give is to receive” takes on new meaning.

When we are ready to reach for our dream, first we must summon the emotional will and change how we think. Our goals must have a “no matter what” quality. We must articulate our dream by writing down our goals. Finally, we must give and receive help so that together we can experience the joy of becoming our personal best.

What about you? Does this resonate with you?

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"                     William James

Exercise Is Good Medicine

In a recent blog, I wrote about my husband’s visit with his physician, Dr. Christine Newsom, for a conference following his annual physical examination. My husband, Dick, is very conscientious about monitoring his health, so he was eager to get the results of his tests. One red flag showed up—a modest rise in blood sugar, typically a precursor to diabetes. Instead of prescribing a drug, however, Dr. Newsom prescribed a combination of exercise and weight loss.

Specifically, Dr. Newsom prescribed 45 minutes of aerobic exercise each day. This would be in addition to the Silver Sneakers’ stretching and balance class Dick attends three times a week and the two sessions each week when he plays tennis. Even though Dick is 72, Dr. Newsom didn’t give him a “bye.” She further instructed him to lose 6 pounds in 3 months. To make sure he didn’t backslide, she arranged for her staff to schedule a follow-up appointment to track his progress.

Is Dr. Newsom’s treatment typical? If not, then it will be if the Exercise Is Medicine movement takes hold. On November 5, 2007, the American Medical Association (AMA) announced its campaign in partnership with the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) to encourage physicians to prescribe exercise to their patients. According to the AMA’s press release, “Physical activity is a fast-growing public health problem in this country and contributes to a variety of chronic diseases and health complications, including obesity, coronary artery disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, depression and anxiety, arthritis and osteoporosis. In addition to improving a patient’s overall health, increasing physical activity has proven effective in the treatment and prevention of chronic diseases.”

In the past, various groups (insurers, government officials and some medical groups) have outspokenly promoted exercise as a way to improve health, particularly given that two-thirds of the adults in the United States are overweight and, worse, half of those are obese. This alliance encourages physicians to include exercise habits as part of the information collected and reviewed during examinations, along with other vital signs, such as blood pressure, temperature and cholesterol readings.

Dr. Ronald M. Davis, President of the American Medical Association, adds, “More than half of Americans don’t get nearly enough exercise and would be astounded to see how much difference a brisk 30-minute walk a few times a week makes in their overall health.”

Reinforcing the AMA’s position, Dr. Robert E. Sallis, President of the American College of Sports Medicine says, “We already advise against smoking; recommending exercise should be no different . . . Exercise can have tremendous health benefits for patients.”

The Exercise Is Medicine program has six facets. The primary task is to get physicians to prescribe exercises that are enjoyable and sustainable and will contribute to their patients’ health. The program also will encourage health and fitness professionals to promote exercise as a powerful medicine. In addition, the campaign will encourage patients to initiate conversations with their physicians about how to improve health and wellness through exercise. The program will also reach out to the media to broadcast the message, to policymakers and advocates to ensure that the program receives appropriate governmental backing and to supporting organizations throughout the world.

For years, I suffered through and was treated for a number of medical problems (for example, gallbladder disease and a torn hamstring) that were directly or indirectly related to my lack of fitness. My medical insurer accumulated a file about 2 inches thick, and it was probably filed under C for “chronic” rather than “Carson.” With hindsight, I can see that my medical problems could have been predicted. After all, I was obese and significantly underexercised.

Although I find it hard to believe, as a patient I never connected the dots (nor did any physician insist that I connect the dots) between my lifestyle and my medical problems. Thanks to Exercise Is Medicine, patients like me will get a “heads up” before they run up extensive medical bills (as I did) or, worse, before they develop chronic or fatal illnesses.

Exercise provides incredible medical benefits for a host of illnesses and conditions, and it is inexpensive and available to all. What better prescription drug could we find? Here’s hoping that exercise is routinely prescribed and that patients faithfully and consistently take their medicine.

"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest her or his patients in the care of the human frame, in a proper diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease"                    Thomas Edison

Fit in America: Coming to a Town Near You?

On any given day,

• nearly one out of two American women and one out of four American men are on a diet;
• over $50 billion is spent each year on dieting and diet-related products;
• four out of five 10-year-olds are worried about getting fat; and
• 33 percent of children are overweight.

Despite the attention and expense, we’re getting fatter. So what’s a country to do? Some countries have created their own solutions:

• Japan is measuring the waistlines of all citizens. Those who exceed the limit are required to attend classes and make healthy lifestyle changes.
• Mexico has introduced a national campaign to lose weight titled Vamos Por Un Million de Kilos, or Let’s Lose a Million Kilos.
• France has introduced a community-based initiative titled EPODE (Ensemble, Prēvenons l’Obésité Des Enfants, or Together, Let’s Prevent Obesity in Children). Successful in thinning children in the two pilot villages, the program has expanded to 113 villages.

Our national educational efforts, while laudable, are insufficient to trigger positive changes on a day-to-day basis. To trigger changes on a grand scale, we need a project far more imaginative than anything we’ve tried so far.

If we can harness our collective talent to put a man on the moon, surely we can direct our talents to create a fun-filled, dynamic U.S. fitness promotion campaign. If we can spend $700 billion to solve problems in the financial community, can’t we find a few million dollars to address a health concern that touches the lives of a majority of our citizens?

Let’s call the program Fit in America. Under this umbrella heading, leaders can organize group weight-loss programs that respond to the needs of each community. Fit in Atlanta can compete with Fit in Dallas. Fit in San Francisco can challenge Fit in Chicago.

Besides losing weight, we can also reinforce the sense of belonging. Being part of a larger effort will help rebuild the cohesiveness of the American people and shrink the gap resulting from the increasing polarization that has diminished our trust in one another.

Working together to lose weight and become fit, we will reaffirm that it is more fun to create than to tear down. We will discover that our differences are less important than our similarities are.

What do you think? Are you ready to bring Fit in America to a town near you?

 

"To pull together is to avoid being pulled apart"                        Bob Allisat

 

 

Note: “Funding Needed For Obesity Program in the U.S.A.” appeared October 21, 2008 on www.basilandspice.com. A similar article titled “Fit in America: Coming to a Town Near You?” appeared on www.gotogabby.com on October 17, 2008.

Does the Calendar Control Your Weight?

Who hasn't stepped on the scale on Monday morning after a weekend of splurging and resolved to shape up? To diet from this day forward until the surplus pounds are gone? And to exercise at least an hour a day?

By Tuesday, the resolve is weaker but the memory of the number on the scale is still fresh enough to ensure compliance, albeit unwilling. On Wednesday, the commitment to shape up and lose weight is hanging by a thread. Thursday is a “just get through it” kind of day.

Friday night signals the beginning of a three-day orgy that starts with relaxing drinks and food and is followed by more treats and delights on Saturday and Sunday. Then once again comes Monday's moment of truth, complete with regrets when the unhappy consequences of last week’s choices are reflected in the number on the scale.

What helped me escape the weekly cycle was taking a “no matter what” approach to my fitness commitment to myself. I resolved that whatever the day of the week or whatever events were swirling around me, I would keep my caloric intake in the range of 1,500—1,800 calories and exercise an hour each day. Unless I was sick or injured, there would be no exceptions. No days off. No matter what.

Just like I had my cup of coffee each morning and flossed my teeth each night, I would exercise and monitor what I ate each day.

Over time, this “no matter what” approach to eating and exercising has become part of my daily routine. Consequently, my habits, not the calendar, now dictate my behavior.

If you’re struggling to free yourself from repeated failure, consider experimenting with the “no matter what” approach. Building healthy habits into our daily lives is a task worth undertaking. Join me!

What Can McDonald’s Do for You?

First we heard about Jared and the Subway diet (Jared lost 245 pounds eating only at Subway), and now the McDonald’s diet is receiving attention. Chris Coleson, a 42-year-old Virginia resident, lost nearly 80 pounds eating two meals a day at McDonald’s for six months.

And Chris is not alone. Eating only at McDonald’s, Merab Morgan of North Carolina lost 30 pounds (10 pounds a month for three months).

These dieters aren’t the first to claim weight-loss success eating at McDonald’s. Previously, a New Hampshire woman lost more than 35 pounds on a diet based on McDonald’s fare, and Don Gorske, featured in Guinness World Records, has eaten over 19,000 Big Macs, yet he remains a slender 6-foot, 180-pound man.

For some of us, the idea of eating mounds of french fries and double cheeseburgers, topping that off with a McFlurry dessert and still losing weight is a dream come true. But the truth is that all of these dieters drastically reduced their calories by choosing salads, wraps, diet sodas and apple dippers without the caramel dip. The dieters also limited how often they ate and how much food they consumed.

Like Jared, Chris and the other McDonald’s dieters lost weight because they cut the number of calories consumed on a daily basis. Even on the reduced-calorie regimen, the dieters found eating strategies they enjoyed, so they were able to stick with their program. These successful weight-loss stories reaffirm the basic premise: if you consume fewer calories than you need, your body will burn stored fat to make up the difference, and you will lose weight.

Even if you’d never consider adopting the McDonald’s diet, Chris’s story still provides a lesson: to lose weight and sustain new habits, follow an ongoing eating regimen that you find pleasurable and satisfying. Depriving yourself of food you enjoy and forcing yourself to eat food you hate can easily send you into an attack of overeating and bingeing. To achieve your ideal weight, eat foods you like that provide nutrition and don’t pack on pounds. This way, you can continue your eating program indefinitely.

Whether the McDonald’s diet provides the necessary nutrients remains unclear. But even on a low-calorie eating regimen, you can consume the required nutrients if you eat a balanced diet.

The key to losing weight and maintaining your new weight does not involve where you eat, but what you eat. Don’t follow your inner sheep and adopt a regimen that for others. Instead, find the eating style that works for you and your body. Your goal is to achieve a healthy body weight and have fun achieving it.

"Things are only impossible until they are not."                    Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation

To Drink or Not to Drink?

That is the question—at least for those of us trying to lose weight. Should we indulge ourselves and then suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous guilt for consuming empty calories? Or should we abstain?

Last week, my girlfriend Deborah Wagner, a registered nurse, and I had an animated debate on this subject over a wineless lunch. Both of us work to maintain our weight between 128 and 132 pounds. Given our commitment, lunches inevitably begin with a self-assessment on how we’re doing, followed by the latest insights.

When the topic of wine came up, Deborah argued on behalf of the daily sip. As head of our community’s wellness program, Deborah is well informed, whereas my contrary point of view was strictly personal. Although my mind was made up, I was willing to listen.

Deborah asserted that her nightly glass of red wine is medically beneficial. She cited research claiming that a daily glass of red wine improves heart health, may prevent tumors from growing and may also improve nerve function. Preventing or delaying heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer’s should be reason enough, Deborah said, to enjoy a glass of wine. She quickly added, however, that if a person didn’t drink wine, they shouldn’t begin. However, for Deborah, the immediate benefit was the relaxing effect of wine. The nightly ritual made the transition from work to home seamless.

Best of all, Deborah said, a glass of wine helps individuals maintain their weight. She based her assertion on research stating that people who consume a single drink a few times each week have a lower risk of obesity than teetotalers or heavy drinkers have. I could understand the connection between heavy drinking and surplus pounds, but I was surprised that a moderate amount of alcohol helped individuals stay trim.

My argument against indulging was not scientifically based but was nonetheless compelling to me. I seem incapable of drinking only one glass of red wine. If one glass tastes good, then the second glass tastes even better. I’ve also noticed that if I drink a glass of red wine with dinner, I crave sugar later in the evening. While the wine doesn’t cost too many calories, the sugared dessert I can no longer resist certainly does. In addition to consuming surplus calories, I feel less rested upon rising the following day. Throughout the day, my energy level is lower than usual even as my appetite is ratcheted up.

I’m 15 years older than Deborah, so our age difference might explain the different physiological reaction I reported. Or maybe I just have different body chemistry.

Had I been more prepared, I could have buttressed my antiwine argument by citing the dangers associated with drunkorexia, the latest eating disorder. This unofficial term describes individuals (mainly women) who starve themselves all day so they can indulge in alcohol later without feeling guilty about consuming too many calories. This abuse of alcohol leads to malnutrition, organ damage and weak bones. Treatment is complicated because the disorder is frequently part of a larger complex of dysfunctional behaviors, such as bulimia and anorexia.

Debbie and I ended our lunch without resolving our differing opinions on the value of a daily glass of red wine—we agreed to disagree. Like the good friends that we are, though, we had no problem agreeing on our next lunch date.

What’s your perspective?

"Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake."                Bible, 1 Timothy v. 23

Ten Essential Lessons to Build Body Esteem

Kathy Kater is a nationally recognized expert in eating disorders and created the Healthy Body Image curriculum for the island of Kauai. She also is the author of Real Kids Come in All Sizes.

Kater’s ideas for young people are highlighted in the January-February 2007 issue of Inspiration, Hawaii’s Wellness Journal, and apply to people all ages:

1. Accept your body’s genetic predisposition. All bodies are wired to be heavier, thinner or in-between.

2. Understand that all bodies change developmentally. Puberty, pregnancy, menopause and aging cannot be controlled.

3. Never diet. Hunger is an internally regulated drive and demands to be satisfied. If you diet, you trigger overeating and a preoccupation with food.

4. Satisfy your body with plenty of wholesome, nutrient-rich foods.

5. Limit sedentary entertainment.

6. To find your optimal natural weight, eat healthfully and maintain an active lifestyle.

7. Choose realistic role models.

8. Maintain your integrity as a person. Your sense of identity is based on many aspects including values you believe in and the person that you are deep inside—not just your body image.

9. Become media savvy. Educate yourself about manipulative advertising and other factors that lead you to buy products or foods that aren’t good for you or that make you feel deficient.

10. Encourage others to join you in developing a healthy, realistic body image.

Kater’s insights underscore a simple truth: how you see yourself determines your daily choices, and the cumulative effect of moment-by-moment decisions shapes your future. Instead of looking for a path that will carry you forward into the future of your dreams, make your own path. As you self-confidently forge ahead, you will achieve a healthier body image—and by your example, you will help others achieve their goals.

Kater has encapsulated a lifetime of work in these ten items. I think you’ll agree that the list is worth saving, rereading from time to time and sharing with others.

Because I found Kater’s ideas so valuable, I sent this article to Gabby Reece, world-class athlete and beautiful young mother. Her staff posted it on Gabby’s site (www.gotogabby.com) on October 6. Go here for the full article.

"Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves."                Nathaniel Branden

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Searching for the Keys to Weight Loss

For 40 years, I wandered alone in the harsh and unforgiving wilderness of diets and tried desperately to lose weight. I tried every popular fad diet in an effort to return my body to its youthful shape so that one morning I could look down and see a number on the bathroom scale that wouldn’t send me into despair.

The most memorable diet was the “three-meals-of-cabbage-soup-a-day” diet—if only because my kids hated the smell of cooked cabbage.

I thought if I found the right diet, however bizarre or unhealthy, the surplus pounds would disappear and I could be happy again. I would rise each morning determined to follow my strict regimen. By the time I went to bed, I had engaged in unplanned eating (the name I gave to eating everything I planned and lots more). The “Just Say No” campaign didn’t work.

In retrospect, I can see that I was like the man who, when trying to unlock his car parked on a dark street, drops his car keys. Crawling around on his hands and knees in the blackness of the night, he searches unsuccessfully for his keys. After several minutes, the man realizes that finding his keys would be easier if it weren’t so dark. Spotting a lamppost 50 feet away, he walks to the lighted area. Once again, the man begins crawling around on the ground and searching for his keys.

A passerby finds the behavior odd and stops to ask the man what he is looking for.

When the searcher explains that he is looking for keys that he dropped near his car up the street, the passerby looks perplexed. “If you dropped the keys over there, why are you looking for them here?” he asks. “Because,” the man replies, “I need light. I can’t find my keys in the dark.”

This story explains much of my frustrating effort to lose weight. For years, I tried and failed. Then I tried again and failed again. I failed because I searched for the key to weight loss inside the pantry and refrigerator—where there were lights—rather than inside me. I was looking for comfort, reassurance and love in all the wrong places.

When I stepped on the scale shortly before my 60th birthday and the scale broke, my history with failed searches became irrelevant. In a single moment, I experienced a breakthrough: I adopted a different point of view. For years, I saw my problem of obesity as one of simply eating too much. The solution would be to eat less. I was wrong.

Overeating was not the problem—it was the solution. Overeating was an effective (albeit fattening) solution to problems that were hidden from view. The overeating—which I brutally criticized myself for—was my creative way of coping with difficulties.

To succeed long term, I would have to pinpoint the problems that ultimately led to consuming more food than my body needed. Identifying these problems and finding healthier solutions were new and exciting tasks that required observational skills.

By paying attention, I discovered that two conditions—physical and emotional—triggered overeating. If I became ravenously hungry or overly fatigued, I misused food as a solution to my physical discomfort. If I became sad, depressed, angry or anxious, I turned to food for love and comfort.

When I looked back at the occasions when I overate, I could see the wisdom embedded in the acronym HALT, which advises those of us who want to make behavior changes to be vigilant when we are in one of four dangerous states: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. This acronym is used to counsel individuals seeking relief from excessive stress and individuals overcoming drug and alcohol addition or other dysfunctional habits including overeating. Food was simply my drug of choice and the solution to my problems.

Armed with this insight, my first strategy was to manage myself. I paid attention to my eating schedule so I didn’t get ravenously hungry. I noticed if I was angry or anxious. I began reaching out to family and friends to counter my sense of loneliness. And finally, I decided to stay more rested.

But life happens. It isn’t always possible to avoid these conditions. Despite my best intentions, I can end the day starving, anxious, isolated or fatigued. But now I am more willing to recognize these feelings, and I know that they need to be honored with a solution that nourishes my spirit rather than adds unneeded fuel to my body. When I am in any one of the four states (God forbid I am in all four at once), after acknowledging my feelings, I have to figure out how I can comfort myself in a healthful way.

Sometimes, I simply need a reassuring conversation with myself, a hug from my husband or a “walk and talk” with a friend. Other times, I need to telephone one of my sisters. And when I become overly tired, I give in to my body and go to bed early because I know that my optimistic outlook will return in the morning. With this awareness, I can manage myself through the crisis. And when I do succumb to temptation and revert to my old ways, I simply pick myself up the following day and begin anew.

One of my favorite expressions is “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.” I could never eat enough food because food wasn’t what I needed. Instead of stuffing my feelings, I needed to face them and find healthier ways to comfort myself. I stopped looking for love in the refrigerator and cupboard—in all the wrong places. Instead, I found my personal keys to fitness and weight loss in the only place they could ever be found—within me.

I achieved this insight late in life. Hopefully, you can take advantage of my delayed learning curve to achieve your weight-loss goals.

Examining a Family’s Coping System Can Help Weight Loss

When we decide to lose weight, we don’t have to look far for reliable information about diet and exercise. Finding and maintaining the emotional will to change lifetime habits is a more difficult, but critical, requirement for success.

According to Kathy Sheffield, a therapist and registered dietician, individuals may be in a better position to live without overeating when they understand how overeating functions in their lives. She asserts that the answer can be found by examining a family’s emotional coping system. For example, when family members relate to each other in a dysfunctional manner, they may unwittingly adapt to the difficult situation at the cost of their own well-being. The resulting conflict and inner tension is managed through food.

One interesting study observed that weight loss occurred at least temporarily when the family system changed. Without exception, the desire to lose weight appeared when a shift in a relationship changed the emotional climate for the dieter.

In one case, a husband's became more emotionally available when his job changed. In another, a difficult relationship with a mother-in-law became manageable after the family moved. Once the emotional climate improved, the dieter was able to make changes. If the climate shifted back, weight was regained.

According to Sheffield, therapy can help individuals discover the link between relationships and eating disorders and offers new possibilities in weight-loss success.

"To err is dysfunctional, to forgive codependent"                        Berton Averre