Carole Carson

HOW DO I SABOTAGE ME? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS!

I’m preoccupied with love, specifically how we nurture and take care of ourselves--or don’t. I’ve more than a passing interest in the subject since I notice that my scale sometimes goes up several pounds. Apparently, losing weight is a different skill than maintaining it. Just when I thought I could relax, it’s back to the drawing board.

On the positive side, thanks to exercise, I’m in the best physical condition since I was in high school and my clothes still fit.

Nonetheless, I’m concerned. Soon a walk with friends who, like me, are struggling to get and stay fit, I asked the question, “How do we sabotage ourselves?” We came up with six behaviors we needed to change.

1. Being a perfectionist. One woman confessed that if she fell apart on Thursday, she had to wait till Monday to get back on track. Another reported that she didn’t keep a food diary because she couldn’t do it perfectly.

Strategy: Replace the perfectionist’s creed--“If I can’t do it right, I won’t do it”--with “Progress, not perfection, is the goal.” Imperfection is part of the human condition. Lighten up and laugh, especially at yourself.

2. Going unconscious while eating. Dining out, I watched with fascination as a patron took the next bite of food before she finished chewing the last one. In between, she stabbed a forkful from her spouse’s plate.

Granted, I’m not that bad (although I confess to sampling my husband’s entrée “just to see what it tastes like”) but I’m hardly flawless. If I watch TV while eating, I want seconds because I haven’t experienced eating “firsts.” Several of us can’t eat sugar without triggering a craving for more.

Strategy: Use a new approach. Rather than recage the sugar beast, go without sweets. Record daily food intake, including calories in vitamins and supplements. Stay honest about portions. To enjoy eating, take it slow. Counting to 10 between bites makes it easier to be satisfied with smaller portions.

3. Putting others’ needs first. Houseguests throw me off. Besides cooking special meals (which I also eat), I’m preoccupied with the mechanics of life--getting a load of laundry done, preparing for the next meal--instead of exercising.

Strategy: Remember this advice for flight attendants. When oxygen is needed, first put on your own mask. Then help passengers. Last time I had company, I served breakfast after I finished my workout routine. No one minded. The problem was in my head.

4. Distracting yourself with clutter. It’s difficult to focus with “stuff” around, especially if it’s broken, surplus or disorganized. A clean office and kitchen sink do wonders for my outlook.

Strategy: Stop buying more. Reduce possessions. Keep the remainder repaired, cleaned and organized.

5. Trying to do too much. Of the many sabotage practices, this is my worst. If there’s a place like AA for workaholics, I should attend daily meetings.

A lifelong sense of “time scarcity” triggers anxiety. Realizing that time on earth is finite, I feel an urgency to make hay while the sun shines. How ironic if this pressure triggers a premature demise!

Strategy: Set priorities. Don’t let “priority creep” turn each task into “must do” or, worse, “must do perfectly.” Breathe deeply and stop. See? The world didn’t come to an end! Play more, not less.

6. Making excuses and procrastinating. To expedite communication, assign numbers to excuses. “I didn’t have time to exercise today” is number one. “I overate because the food looked good” is two. Three is “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Strategy: Toss out excuses with oversized clothes. Begin today. Begin now.

George Orwell said, “On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” Maybe he’s right. Like most people, I don’t want to be good all the time. But if I can’t be good all the time, maybe I could be a little better a little more of the time.

Trivia Question: Four Healthy Habits

Four healthy habits can cut the risk of serious diseases (such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer) by 80 percent. Can you pick the four from this list?

 

1. Drinking a glass of red wine each day

2. Eating a healthy diet high in fruits, vegetables and whole grains and low in meat

3. Getting at least 30 minutes of exercise daily

4. Maintaining a reasonable weight

5. Not smoking

6. Flossing daily

7. Getting eight hours of sleep

 

Drinking a glass of wine daily may be good for you, flossing your teeth may make your dentist happy and a good night’s rest will improve your outlook, but these three habits did not make the cutoff.

 

The four habits are eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, maintaining a reasonable weight and not smoking.

 

Just what your mother always tried to get you to do, right?

 

Discovering the Athlete Within

When I undertook the task of re-inventing myself as a fit person, I had no idea what was involved. No high-minded principles guided me, nor did I adopt any particular program. Nor were my motives practical, for example, to improve my health.

Quite the opposite, my motives were shallow--I looked in the mirror and was too vain to accept the pudgy reflection. Only retrospectively can I figure out what happened.

First, I made an unconditional decision to change my lifestyle permanently. Second, I got help--from professionals (a personal trainer and lifestyle counselor) as well as from family and friends.

Next, I managed my thinking, especially about food. Instead of being grim, I explored new ways of cooking, challenging myself to eat well within caloric limitations.

The last step was discovering my latent athleticism. Somewhere along the exercise path, I stopped exercising to achieve its by-products--improved health, more energy, lower weight and a shapely figure. Instead, I just wanted to get better.

Practicing yoga, I wanted to improve my form. Working with weights, I wanted increased strength. Playing tennis, I wanted more consistency and an effective serve. Before I knew it, I was "in training."

Drs. Harvey Simon and Steven Levisohn, in their book The Athlete Within, say that "all of you can become athletes. Each of you has surprising potentials; most of you will never be sports stars, but all of you can greatly extend your horizons through careful planning and diligent training."

Initially, I was self-conscious in tennis clinics where many students were half my age. But the lure of becoming an athlete was irresistible--I surrendered. Today, instead of having to exercise, I have to limit activity so my body can rest, especially when I have a sports injury, like the back pain that's currently plaguing me. Taking a longer perspective, I reassure myself that I'll be back on the courts in a few weeks and more ambitious than ever.

Imagine my delight when I read that Clarence Chaffee, the tennis coach at Williams College, did not begin competing nationally until age 70. Since then, he's collected 48 national Super Senior' tennis titles. Or Albert Gordon, a well-known businessman and philanthropist, who entered his first marathon at 80, at which time he completed the difficult London Marathon in an excellent 6 hours and 30 minutes.

I'm not aiming this high, but I do want to become the best tennis player, gym-rat and yoga student I can be, independent of external recognition. Seeing the improvement in my athleticism, after 40 years of being out of shape, is its own reward.

Drs. Simon and Levisohn confirm, "If you exercise regularly and develop your potentials to their fullest, you will be a true athlete, even if you never win a race or compete on center court."

Lest you think you don't have time to exercise, as I once did, listen to Edward Stanley, Earl of Derby, 1873, who observed, "Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness."

His perspective is confirmed by medical research coming at us from all directions. The way we live accounts in large part for how long we will live and how well we will live. The good news is that we are free to make choices about the way we live. Even better, if we've made poor lifestyle choices in the past, we're free to make adjustments today. If it isn't too late, our bodies will respond magnificently. Best of all, there's an athlete residing in each of us just waiting to come out and play.

THE RIGHT TO BARE ARMS AND OTHER CONSTITUTIONAL ISSUES

If you’re content with your constitution--your physique, build, body, strength and vigor--then consider yourself among the elite. The rest of us struggle with how much of our arms and bodies to bare.

Alas! I’m 10 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest weight. In a burst of enthusiasm for fitness, I had reconfigured my body. In six months, I had gone from my highest weight ever, 183 pounds, down to a svelte 121 pounds. Throwing out all of the size 18 clothes hanging like lumps in my closet, I had replaced my wardrobe with clothes in the range of sizes 6-8.

At that time, I swore on my low calorie cookbooks that, having worked so diligently to drop 60 plus pounds and being so happy with the new “me,” I would never, ever allow myself to relapse.

Looking back, I remember gaining 2 pounds and telling myself that the gain was probably temporary—perhaps the result of extra water from the salty popcorn I’d eaten the night before. I didn’t disregard the encroachment, but I didn’t hyperventilate either. I was confident it would disappear and the scale would once again register the numbers I wanted. I did not feel any special action was needed. Silly me!

Instead of losing weight, I gained 2 pounds during a self-indulgent trip to France a few months later. Four more pounds casually sneaked onto the scale, probably a half pound at a time. After returning from yet another wine-cheese-chocolate orgy in France, I weigh 132 pounds.

Trips to visit my son and his extended family in Provence are both wonderful and challenging. My French hosts are curious about Americans who obsess over food and focus on dieting and yet are increasingly overweight. They think that severely restricting a person’s choice of foods is unnatural. A rigid attitude towards food, they believe, produces an unhealthy disconnect between body and soul and often results in irresistible cravings and compulsive overeating.

Instead of dieting and counting calories, they promote the full and complete enjoyment of food consumed over many happy hours at a table surrounded by family and friends.

“Food,” as they say in Provence, “is life.” Why don’t we Americans want to live life to its fullest?

“Why,” they ask, “don’t you eat the French way to stay thin?” as they pour me another tumbler of wine, serve three or four more pieces of cheese, cut another hunk of bread and circulate yet another round of desserts, almost too beautiful to eat.

My 99-pound French daughter-in-law consumes far more than I do. Watching her eat makes me wonder if she and I are genetically programmed to process food differently. If I ate as much as she did I would waddle off the plane when I got home. This is, now that I think about it, exactly what happened!

I remind myself of some good signs in the middle of this constitutional crisis. My exercise discipline is firmly integrated into my life. Each morning, unless I’m sick or traveling, I diligently perform floor exercises. My personalized 40-minute routine combines weights, yoga, stretching and 200 sit-ups. Thanks to the benefits of consistency and persistence, I’m exceptionally limber for my age. This is amazing since at the start of my fitness campaign, I was too stiff to bend at the waist and touch my knees. The daily workout is supplemented by 10 to 15 hours of moderate exercise during the week, usually in the form of tennis or walking. My friends are also my exercise playmates, providing an added incentive to keep me moving.

With this routine well established, I haven’t given up on my lofty fitness goals, even though I’ve lost a small battle. I will not passively give up my right to bare arms and legs. I posted a note on my refrigerator door with my weight goal as a sentinel, and I’ve resumed writing down everything I eat.

As you can see, my concerns are personal, not political. Every action I take is a vote for the constitution I want--one that includes the right to bare arms.

WHAT ARE YOU WEIGHTING FOR?

As you can imagine, research for writing this column involves reading everything I can about fitness. I also talk with friends, neighbors, and sometimes strangers about their efforts and frustrations. Simultaneously, I experiment on myself.

Sometimes making progress, sometimes falling back, I keep searching for a magic solution. Besides never having to worry about gaining weight or staying fit, I'd package the formula and become rich.

Instead of a magic bullet, though, two observations emerge.

First, there are as many ways to skin a cat as there are breeds of cats. One size doesn't fit all. One exercise regimen doesn't work for all body types. One time of day, or one kind of exercise, doesn't meet all needs. Eating, or avoiding, any given food or food type doesn't apply universally. Conclusion: successful regimens are unique and specific to each person.

Second, people who achieve their goals don't succeed the first time. Like a baby who falls down learning to walk, repeated efforts and failure are typical of the process.

Evidently we are stuck with learning through trial and error what kind of person we are. We have to discover what works--and doesn't work--for our unique body.

Self-awareness, though, is only the first step. If, for example, I discover when I skip breakfast that I get too hungry and overeat later in the day, I won't automatically start eating breakfast. One morning I'm "good" and eat breakfast; the next morning I say "to heck with it" and overeat that night.

Converting self-awareness into a positive habit may be as difficult as acquiring self-knowledge--maybe even harder.

One idea I picked up somewhere in my reading was the notion of talking to myself differently. The premise was that using different statements would help me bridge the gap between my current dysfunctional habit and the healthier one I wanted.

A statement beginning with "I'm the kind of person who" and ending with a healthier behavior would promote better choices. Never mind if the statement wasn't true yet--if I repeated it often enough, it would become true.

The idea grabbed me. I couldn't wait to experiment. I took a bad habit--sampling food while preparing dinner. A spoonful here and there, and guess what? I'd eaten the equivalent of anther portion while hiding calories from myself.

For the experiment, I said to myself even as I took a bite of food, "I'm the kind of person who doesn't sample food as she cooks." Inexplicably, over the course of a week, I significantly reduced nibbling--I was becoming the person I said I was.

I took a second bad habit--not wearing my seatbelt driving the last one-half mile home after picking up mail. Even as I was driving without my seat belt, I said, "I'm the kind of person who wears a seat belt even when traveling short distances." Voila! Within a week, I had started wearing my seat belt.

I've now added some more statements to my repertoire: "I'm the kind of person who likes to eat thin, who doesn't like second helpings." "I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to finish a meal feeling full." "I'm the kind of person who loves to exercise." To paraphrase Einstein, the thinking of the 5'2" woman who ate her way to 183 pounds cannot be the same level of thinking as the person who weighs 125 pounds.

Of all of the approaches I've experimented with, this one is the most fun, easiest to master and most practical. If you try it, remember you're aiming for progress, not perfection.

Carole Carson is a fitness consultant and the author of From Fat to Fit: Turn Yourself into a Weapon of Mass Reduction (Hound Press, 2007). After chronicling her 62-pound weight loss in her weekly newspaper column, she applied her expertise to co-create the Nevada County Community Meltdown--an inspirational wellness event that helped more than a thousand people lose nearly four tons of fat in two months. Visit www.houndpress.com for more information.

GOING FOR HEALTH AND FITNESS--WHERE TO BEGIN?

When I publicized my own makeover, individuals who wanted to lose weight and become fit began approaching me. Don, a 56-year old man who was 40-50 pounds overweight, was typical. In 10 months, he wanted to participate in a civil war re-enactment wearing a uniform that was currently two sizes too small.

            Don wanted to know if losing 40 pounds in 10 months was reasonable. He'd had surgery for a rotator cuff nine months earlier and while most of his mobility and strength was back, he had to be mindful of his limitation.

            Where should he start? He was willing to join a gym but couldn't afford unlimited expenses. He was retired, so time was not a consideration. He also mentioned that his wife might join him in his fitness program.

            My first response was to congratulate him on his decision to begin. If he ate fewer calories and exercised more, losing 40 pounds in 10 months was certainly do-able.

Begin with a Visit to the Doctor

            Because of his age, his injury and the magnitude of the changes he wanted to make, I recommended Don begin with a visit to his physician. As Don’s weight dropped, his doctor might need to change the amount and strength of his prescriptions. His doctor could also refer him to a physical therapist (preferably one with sports’ medicine orientation) who could design an exercise regimen, taking in account Don’s age and recent injury.

The physical therapist could prescribe a routine consisting of aerobic, strength and flexibility exercises. To be prudent, Don might want to exercise under the therapist’s supervision (or a personal trainer as an alternative) until he was confident he could perform the routine safely on his own.

The physician could also refer Don to a registered dietitian who tailor his eating regimen, taking into account food preferences, nutritional needs, calorie requirements, and weight goals.

Health and Risk Assessment

In addition, I recommended that he contact his local hospital and see if he could obtain a health and risk assessment. This report would establish a baseline of his current state of health and give detailed reports graphically highlighting his personal risk for cancer, heart disease, stroke and other diseases. Knowing the potential threat of a disabling or fatal disease is sobering and will reinforce his decision to shape up. The exam and questionnaire typically take about 30 minutes each and cost $75-$150.

            Gym membership was definitely an option and, if his budget permitted, a good use of resources. Being around others engaged in getting and staying fit rubs off. On the other hand, a home gym can be equipped for less than $100. If Don was self-disciplined, he’d find that a home gym had the advantage of being convenient, accessible, and low cost. Plus, his wife could join him.

Time Is a Valuable Resource

            As a retiree, Don had a valuable resource--time. If he must economize dollar-wise, he could be extravagant in spending time. He should consider fitness his job and commit to a daily routine. He needed to keep detailed records--weight, body measurements and an exercise log--so he can celebrate his progress.

            Don also needs to keep educating himself. Hence, I recommended he buy Dr. Kelly Brownell's book, The LEARN Program for Weight Management. This is an excellent reference book covering lifestyle, exercise, attitudes, relationships and nutrition. Websites on the internet also offer information and support.

            While medical advice, a dietitian, gear and club fees are out-of-pocket expenses, other lifestyle changes are free. Immediately, Don can eat smaller portions, skip desserts and cut down on fats. He can eat more fruits and fresh vegetables. He can reduce sugar. He can count calories, or “points” if he decides to join Weight Watchers. He can find an exercise partner, perhaps his wife, and join free walking groups.

            Getting fit means having a renewed sense of stewardship for our bodies. Money and time spent becoming fit is not a self-indulgent extravagance but rather an obligation. We can lessen our medical costs since many illnesses result from our lifestyle choices. We can reduce the risk of dying prematurely or having to be cared for by others or being unable to participate in our favorite activities.

            And on the positive side, being fit generates a remarkable sense of well-being and optimism. Not only will Don look terrific, he’ll feel like a young man again. We’ll be cheering for him.

Carole Carson is a fitness consultant and the author of From Fat to Fit: Turn Yourself into a Weapon of Mass Reduction, which chronicles her own 62-pound weight loss and the inspirational Nevada County Community Meltdown. Visit www.houndpress.com for more information.

Fitness: A Success or a Work in Process?

I promote fitness through writing, speaking and coaching the AARP Fat 2 Fit online community, yet my efforts to become fit are far from perfect. And if perfection were the standard against which my efforts were judged, while I might not classify my endeavor as a failed project, I could not claim total success either.

In fairness to me, given that I spent 40 years gaining weight and only the last few years promoting fitness and weight loss, I’m doing reasonably well. I also take comfort knowing that my example has contributed to others becoming more fit and possibly extending their lives.

Still, the nagging questions keep surfacing: How should I judge my efforts? What are my criteria?

When I tried to answer these questions, I realized I had only the vaguest notion of what constitutes success. Consequently, I began analyzing the nature of success and concluded the following:

• Success can be defined only by me, not by my spouse, my parents or any other person.

• Success is a feeling, not the physical trappings, awards or recognition that others consider the benchmarks of success.

• Success at any price may not be worth it.

• Success is a dynamic process of attaining, not a fixed state. I define and redefine my fitness goals as I make day-to-day decisions.

• Success occurs in steps. Experiments and setbacks help me determine what is needed next. The results—both successful ones and failed attempts—provide useful information.

• Success can be learned. I am not failing as long as I am learning new ideas, experimenting and moving forward.

• Everyone has a few failures under his or her belt.

• Success is best achieved when goals are not so high that they are impossible to reach or so low that they fail to challenge.

• Success is, in the final analysis, being honest and present with myself.

After I explored my own ideas on success, I thought it might be worthwhile to see how others define success. The thinking of two people, Basketball Hall of Fame coach John Wooden and author Maya Angelou, resonated with me.

In his book Beyond Success, John Wooden asserts that the score at the end of the game isn’t the defining measure of success. In his view, the measure of our success is whether “we’ve given our best to become the best of which we were capable.” John’s view of success relies heavily on internal leadership—that is, self-coaching and self-talk that keeps us on track.

Maya Angelou defines success as liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it.

John’s and Maya’s definitions of success make me more comfortable with my progress and achievements. I am wholly committed to becoming the best of which I am capable. And, at least most of the time, I like myself, like what I do and like how I do it.

What about you? If by chance you are discouraged by your current lack of progress, remember the observation of Mike Ditka: “Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal.”

As long as we have a tomorrow, we have an opportunity for a fresh start.

What’s in Store for the Next Generation?

Is the following statement true or false?

Thanks to medical advances and education about the importance of healthful lifestyles, Americans entering their 60s today are experiencing fewer disabilities in old age than did the previous generation.

False. Americans in their 60s have higher disability rates than the generation currently in their 70s and 80s. Researchers report this disturbing trend in a study funded by the National Institute on Aging reported in the November 2009 issue of the American Journal of Public Health. Researchers concluded that obesity was the main factor accounting for the increase in disabilities since normal-weight individuals did not follow the trend upward. The increased incidence of disability will challenge the medical care system as well as family members who provide care for disabled seniors.

The Bareable Lightness of Being a Thinner Me

When I stepped on the bathroom scale, I saw the numbers racing upward—153—168—174—before stopping at 183 pounds. I was shocked at the number. The word “flabbergasted” took on new meaning.

Then the scale broke. My options were limited: either I was way too short (5 feet 1 inch) for my weight or I was fat and seriously out of shape.

I interpreted the broken scale as an unmistakable message from the Universe. Alone, naked and mortified, I looked up at the ceiling and said aloud, “I get it.” In that instant, I knew it was time to get fit and lose weight. Little did I know that in the six-month process of losing 63 pounds, I would lighten my spirit far more than my body. The more weight I lost, the more self-respect I gained. In the course of getting fit, I found thinner peace.

When I dropped the surplus pounds encasing me, I slipped out of the chains that were holding me back and raced toward my life’s work. Stepping out in an entirely new way, I began writing, speaking and encouraging others to adopt healthier habits. When I offered to help neighbors and friends get fit and lose weight in my small northern California community, I was surprised when over a thousand people showed up for our first meeting. Even more amazing, we lost four tons in eight weeks.

Having found my voice, I’ve since written four books and hundreds of articles on fitness (the Wall Street Journal dubbed me “An Apostle for Fitness”), and I serve as the coach for the AARP Fat 2 Fit online community. How ironic that the lighter my body is, the larger my presence.

When I decided to lose weight and get fit, could I have imagined what the future would hold? Never in my wildest dreams!

Given this life-transforming experience, I was eager to talk to Dr. Judith Rich, a well-known teacher in the field of transformation and consciousness. I wanted to quiz her about the relationship between spiritual and physical well-being. My questions and her responses follow.

Q. Does caring for our physical bodies trigger an impulse to care for our spiritual self?

A. Here in the West, we tend to think of body, mind and spirit as three distinct entities. The mind is the seat of thought that resides in the head and functions separately from the rest of the body. Yet Eastern traditions teach that the body is the mind and vice versa. I tend to see the concept of self this way. In this context then, taking care of the body is one way of expressing love for one’s higher or spiritual self.

Q. Is getting fit and losing weight a challenge and difficulty that we can use to help us grow?

A. Undoubtedly! Anytime we stretch ourselves beyond our expectations, we grow. In the process, we empower ourselves by building courage, gaining self-confidence and learning to trust in our abilities.

Gamble Your Way to Fitness

When it comes to health, you have no control over the hand you’re dealt; however, you can choose how to play it. If you’re overweight and out of shape, the odds for achieving optimum health are definitely stacked against you. But you hold the trump card. By gambling your way to fitness, you can realize a sizable payoff.

Successful gamblers avoid long shots when it comes to health. Here are three winning strategies for getting FIT:

F = Fix the odds by eating foods you enjoy that won’t pack on pounds. Find an exercise you love that makes you feel like a kid at play. Whether the exercise is walking or swimming, tennis or Zumba, get your body in the game.

I = Insure your bet. Don’t count on beginner’s luck to last. Instead, integrate healthy habits into your daily routine to improve your chances of achieving good health and reducing the risk of illness. Your well-being is on the line.

T = Team up with others. Including more players raises the stakes and makes the game of fitness more fun. Create a good-natured contest with your friends and family. Share each other’s successes in a newsletter, or join a free online support community. Surrounding yourself with like-minded players improves your game.

To encourage individuals to have fun and avoid unhealthy behavior, the gaming industry has created the “Play Responsibly” program. You can apply this concept to your fitness program. Playing responsibly—eating healthfully and exercising regularly—is a winning plan.